It’s hard to believe that I’m officially 30. Sometimes I still feel like I’m 24 and then I remember it’s 2015, I graduated from high school 12 years ago and I occasionally find greys when I’m blow drying my hair. If you would have asked me five years ago, or even a year ago, how I felt about turning 30 I would have said scared to death. Today I can confidently say it’s the beginning of a new era and I couldn’t be happier to face my thirties. As I reflect back on my twenties I’m thankful. I lived, I loved and I for sure learned a lot.
Nicole sent me this pin after a break up. At the time she meant it to apply to a romantic relationship. Since said breakup I’ve thought a lot about “trusting love one more time” and have realized that loving myself one more time is the most important. We’re usually our own worst critic and it’s easy to give up on ourselves even before others have. In the past I would beat myself up for missing workouts, a mistake I made at work, letting someone down, or linger over past decisions and think about how I should have acted differently. In my thirties I’m giving myself permission to make mistakes and start again. Once I’ve given myself this freedom it makes it easier to give others this freedom as well. The worst thing I could do is miss out on a great opportunity, friendship or romance because I was afraid to trust love. In my thirties I’m taking chances, having an open heart and having the courage to trust one more time.
I spent a lot of my twenties giving to everyone but myself. My mom is the most selfless I person I know and she taught me the value of giving at a very young age. I’ve been doing it ever since but too often and too much. Throughout my twenties I wore out. For example, if work called me to work an extra shift I’d say yes even if that meant sacrificing time with family or friends. If someone needed a favor I’d go out of my way to help even if it was inconvenient for me. My initial answer to anything anyone asked of me was, “Yes!”. Now my initial answer is, “Let me see what I have going on” or “Let me check my schedule.” I’ve since realized boundaries are ok and it’s not a good thing to be giving all the time. I work as a nurse so I’m a caretaker by nature but I can promise that in this new decade I am going to be focused on giving to myself too. I know in turn I will be an even better caretaker, friend, sister, etc.
I started working out at Pearl Street Fitness last summer. I’ve been to many gyms and done hundreds (dare I say thousands of workouts). PSF was the first place that not only changed my body but also changed my mind. They preach strong, confident people and that is exactly who I want to be – a strong, confident, woman. Just when you feel like you can’t keep going there’s a little voice saying, “I can. I will.” This carries over into every aspect of life, not only at the gym. In difficult times I find myself repeating these four words. I will say in the gym it’s very effective and I’m in better shape at thirty than I was at twenty.
I can’t remember when I started with positive vibes but I know it was sometime after Alex and I became friends. I have her and my brother’s girlfriend to thank for preaching positive vibes. I am a very realistic, logical, face the facts kind of person and sometimes with that comes a little bit of negativity. I truly can’t lie to myself and tell myself that everything is ok when it’s not. As I approach my thirties I’ve learned that it’s ok to face the facts but still hope and believe that everything will work out for the best. Positive vibes has changed me more than anything else in the last decade. Your mindset is everything and working at a children’s hospital has taught me that first hand. I’ve taken care of paralyzed patients that are happy and content and smile and say thank you. And I’ve taken care of patients who have a minor injury and think it’s the end of the world. Attitude determines everything.
“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up a lot of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you from where you started and those that bring you back.
But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.
And if you find someone to love the you that you love, then that’s just fabulous."
- Carrie Bradshaw
Here’s to a new decade – life not being perfect, good times and bad and probably more love and loss. But loving myself first, positive vibes, being the best version of me and always believing I can and I will. Cheers!